Sing

My friend just showed me some old photos of us with big, teased, too-much-hairspray-hairs. We were so rocking the Hairspray era HA HA HA

I. Just. Want. To. Shoot. Myself.

Luckily they were shot when I was 13, the suicide tendency is 4 years late.

You know sometime curiosity kills, yeah like mine. I can be so curious, I sacrifice few hours of my time just to figure out someone's tweet or status. Lame lame lame. Even though most of the time, the result I got was nothing related to anything I know, but still, I keep doing it. Doing every investigation I can to find out the truth.

I just wrote the most sweetest text message to my current boyfriend, which I consider too sweet. Everyone's leaving you in the end, you come to this world alone, and you will leave this world alone too. So why bother with the sweet, corny, text? Nobody stays forever. Forever is bullshit. Forever is the word made out by the greeting card company. Forever is only existed in books and movies. Forever is a lie. Forever is like 1+1=3. Forever is just failure, it's just wrong.

The text message is still a draft, I haven't send it, nor complete it. This is for the first time I ever write sweet text message to someone, that long. You should see it, it's so massive, full with words, I can't even keep up. What's wrong with me? :/

The question still is, why, why did I even intend to write something like that? After all the harmful of a relationship I've seen for the past years, why keep a high expectation for this one? Why keep pretending that forever is there? Why I even try to work things out when things are clearly don't? Why share all the love when you know that love is just a bullshit, pathetic word? Why? Why dear human being, why?

Maybe, I just want to favor the moment. Maybe for a reason or two love isn't that pathetic. Maybe things can really work out when both sides are really working it out. Maybe write something down is the only way you can express all the feeling you have.

Maybe I'm just dumb. Maybe I'm just pretending to be dumb.

Mood : Stupid

Listen to : Sing - My Chemical Romance